Monday, December 14, 2009

to make a complaint about Susan boyle's hideousness press 7 now..

So are people complaining more nowadays because they are more conservative or is it just easier to complain, and therefore just developing into a lazy bunch of bitches?

When Jonaton Ross and the so-called comedian fellow made fun of Manuel on the phone, there were *3.5 million complaints to the BBC. Yet there were probably *no compaints when he was taking the piss out of spicks by playing an idiotic waiter in a comedy show *20 years ago.

But now you can zip off a badly-spelt email in a matter of minutes and have it sent in the time it takes to fire up i-tunes to buy the latest single that Simon Cowel has said you should buy..

I mean if you were to go looking for a pen and paper, and actually write it and then find an envelope... and then actually walk to the post office and buy a stamp and actually post it...
Well, no wonder they got away with all that racism and shit before the internet and email came

*Figures may not be accurate, because I haven't researched them

Monday, November 2, 2009


Whats Pissing me off at the moment?

Bill cullen on the television with his band of brainless cretins...(but I have to watch)

the red 'X' seemingly burning itself onto my retinas all weekend long no matter what channel I flick to and no matter what time. I concede that its simple entertainment for simple people but why do the rest of us have to suffer so much of it? And I hope the mad twins with the hair win, because they are from Dublin, but I just hope its all over soon...

Bill Cullen on the radio, this morning talking about who should or should not strike. What business is it of his? He is a millionaire and isnt qualified to comment on what ordinary working people should be doing. (unless of course its buying shitty Renault cars)

People giving oxygen to that knacker from BallyFermot who is pissing on about apparitions of some Bird down in Mayo? Who gives a fuck? Don't be filling our column inches with such Garbage..

The God-damned rain, and the fucking darkness...

And the cold...

And as for that Ginger-minged eco-warrior David Mcwilliams I just wish that some hole would open up and swallow the fucking annoying, coin phrasing, know-all little prick.

Thats all for this morning, I need to refill my coffee pot..

Sam C

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Inglourious Basterds

I dont think I hated this film. But I'm not quite sure.

It is definitely way too long, and the reason for it is simple, Tarantino makes all of his scenes too long. There are some nice scenes in this film and some nice acting, but others let it down badly. Brad Pitt is hopeless, unconvincing and thoroughly un-menacing as the brutal Nazi-Killer.

There is one simple story line and it takes a ridiculously long time to come about. I am not sure what message he is trying to get across in this film, but in the end it is a muddle of cinematic history, ultra violence and little else.

The ultra violence is served up sparingly, after long bouts of tense(ish) build ups. In one scene we get to meet "The Bear" one of the Inglourious, and there is an unbearably long wait for the club wielding bastard to come in to view. The problem is, that its not tension or fear unbearable - its tedium unbearable.

The clever movie reviewers at the New York Times, will be able to tell you all the famous movie references and style references etc. etc. But for me I just want to be entertained, and was to some degree. But Tarantino fell down at the most crucial stage, that of The Story. The film is basically a collage of loosely related scenes that lead up to the story which comes to view after 2 hours of the movie have passed.

I'm sure that a lot of people will enjoy this film, but for me I like a film to make me think or to laugh or even to scare the life out of me. It did the latter a couple of times, and I found myself covering my eyes at some of the gory bits.

I think this is basically a comic book trying to be a movie. Its all meaningless dialogue pasted around lots of pretty pictures filled with action and 2 dimensional characters.

I know Tarantino fans think the man is God, so to them I say sorry, but I think I did hate this film.

Oh, and I did spot the Mike Meyers Cameo and was duly unimpressed with his flagging british accent. (public school educated british army types tend not to have scratchy accents that come in and out mike!)


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Learn from the Rain Man Uncle Sam!

Gary McKinnon a man from the UK who suffers from Aspergers syndrome, a form of Autism, is to be extradited to the US for hacking the US military. It seems the man was something of a UFO nut and wanted to find out what the US knew about extra terrestrial life. He hacked a number of Top US military Navy and army sites, and now they want him, and they are going to punish him..

Fuck that. Surely they should be sending a private jet for the guy to come over and tell their so-called technology-security people what they are doing wrong and how they can avoid being infiltrated by genuinely threatening people. Fuck it, give the guy some Khaki pants, a lamenated ID card that he can wear at waist level and a leather laptop bag... make him head of US military something or other.. But dont punish the guy..
I'm not saying he is innocent, and the yanks are claiming he left their sytems open to other intruders, but surely they need to use this as a learning experience.

I say give this guy a break. Dont lock him up. Lock up the fuckers who built a vulnerable security system, or better still fire their asses. Hire this Rain man guy, and on the weekends he'll count cards for them in Vegas so they can get back the 700k he supposedly cost the US.

He highlighted a vulnerability, in my mind he may have saved them money or maybe more..

Give this guy a break...

Sam C

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Friends, who needs em?

Ah.... Whats with the shirt?


Did you loose a bet?

The shop was closing. I tried it on. It fitted me.

But its digusting... You look like an eastern European Country and Western fan.

It cost sixty quid. I have to get a certain number of wears out of it..

Why didnt you return it?


When you realized it was fucking disgusting..

Its not that bad? Five more wears I reckon I need..

Right. I'll see you in six weeks then...


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wiki-pedia (it even sounds Very Vicki Pollard)

Saying according to Wikipedia is a bit like saying

this bloke down the pub told me...

It might be 100% accurate, but then it might be a lot of rubbish.

So remember that when you say according to Wikipedia

we are only half listening. (especially the ones who have made some dubious wikipedia entries)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Its just meant to be fun you know...

OK, so I saw the New Terminator Film. And yes I took the Wee-Lad, and he loved it.
It is chock full of great special effects and some wonderful action scenes that distract you expertly from the lack of any real story line. But then when it is full of cool robots and flying machines and robot motorcycles, who needs to worry about questions concerning the space-time-continuum?

If you are going to start asking questions of a movie about its adherence to the laws of physics then you are probably better off avoiding most films that depend on special effects guys to entertain you.

Maybe you should see a nice serious film where all the players have been nominated by illustrious academies for their work. Christian Bale wont be one of them.

Its fun and a bit gritty, and you just shouldn't ask how highly advanced computer assassin robots take swiping blows at the central protagonist so to knock him over a bit instead of aiming a single deadly blow to begin with.

And you know before you go in that they cant possibly finish the story, I mean end a franchise? Is it mad you are?
(they cant go down the whole 'Prequel' route because that would just mess with our heads too much..)

Go on, suspend your disbelief. you may find you enjoy it.

Thanks for reading.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

a simplistic view of the Irish economy

Look, two years ago you were buying brand new cars that had about 5 to 10 grand worth of VRT lumped on top of them. If your not going to buy those cars anymore then they (the government) are going to have to get the aforementioned 5 to 10 grand from you some other way, namely via the good old income tax system. Its very simple; if you dont want to pay them the money the fun way, by buying stuff and donating tax that way, then they are going to have to take it directly from your pay packet. Its very, very simple. They need X amount of cash to run the country and we will give it to them the easy way or the hard way. It is that simple.

Now spend for gods sake and lets get ourselves out of this. We are not a master of industry type country. We buy stuff, and it gets taxed. We make stuff invented in other countries and benefit with the jobs and a minute slice of their tax take. If you can come up with a new way of running the country then it had better involve some new indigenous natural resource that we havent found yet to exploit. We are a nation of contractors. Its what we are good at, so lets get back to it and stop all this fucking whinging because nobody is going to pay us to whinge.

Thanks for reading


Thursday, June 4, 2009

Crosaire revisited...

I love crosaire sometimes.

It can take me over an hour to get as far as I can.

Crosaire for the uninitiated is the cryptic crossword in the Irish Times


Sometimes I get loads done, and other days I just cant get started at all, but when you start to get the hang of it, it can be very satisfying.

It is not a five minutes and a cup of coffee job. It takes time. But now I have discovered some Irish guy living in San Fran who can help, and if your a bit of a Crosaire struggler like myself you might like to check him out..

here's the link

Crosaire Blog

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

whats ahead? Terminators!

I have taken to enjoying Film anticipation recently. I find it is more enjoyable anticipating a film than actually seeing it. In fact most films turn out to be shit. The only film I truly enjoyed recently(i'm talking couple of years), that was meant for me, was "No country for old men" and it didnt really stand up to re-viewing on DVD. "There will be blood" was goodish but too long and Day Lewis lost the plot in the closing scenes. "The dark Knight" was watchable but over hyped and in my opinion a very average film that strived to me more. And wasnt.

The movie I am anticipating this week is "Terminator Salvation". I am afraid to see it. I am a Terminator Fan, and can even grudgingly watch the third one, cause my son loves it. I have it built up in my head to be great for some reason and the trailers I have seen have me prepared for a great film. But the reviews are luke-warm and I am afraid to knock this "great" movie from its pedestal in my mind.

My son who is almost four thinks I am bringing him to see it, but his mother has said definitely
NO, and who am I to argue. Its just its advertised on every bus in Dublin and he spots every one.
do you know that tune, I am humming it right now...

de-de, de-de-de, de-de-de- de-de DE DE!

There may be trouble Ahead!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Are we all Plodding through life?

In one article in This Sundays Times, Jeremy Clarkson talks about our plodding through life and not really doing anything. I presume that he meant that we were all just getting up every day and doing the same old routines and basically waiting for death. He backs up his argument with his other article in the paper which is about driving around London in his 500 horse-power Mercedes, speed cameras and speeding in general.

I presume he wrote about the Plodding after he wrote the hackneyed, cliched piece on speed cameras and Mercedes. Its his speciality, railing against liberals and regulation in general. And I think thats why I like to read him. Not every week, but every so often I like to read about how he hates cyclists and vegetarians and people who drive slowly. I plod through life, but enjoy life too.

I like that when I read clarkson, I know I will get a few cheap laughs at the expense of people who think they are making the world a better place, but are really just making it annoying for the rest of us.

I suspect that writing his umpteenth article about this sort of thing has given him the Plodding feeling. But his target audience are the plodders of the world, I suspect that few who read his articles about 200 thousand euro vehicles could ever dream of buying them. We are plodders reading his plodding, and from the comfort of our own sofas and without having to think too much about it we have a laugh and dont have to spend any more than 2.50 to do so.

Plod on Clarky!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Kit kat now.

How about a moratorium?
All bloggers should have to refrain from political commentary for an agreed period.
They could all temporarily become foodies, travel writers or maybe dolphin spotters.
Look, come up with something.
Stop reminding us about what a shower of scally-wags the majority of politicans are.
We know what they are. We know about their expenses. We know about their short-comings and most importantly we know that its the constant bleating in the papers about it that keeps them somewhat in-check.
But look, for about two-weeks can we have some Jam recipes or something? maybe some carefully written articles on where you like to spend your weekends, or you could post those first two pages that you have written of your best-seller!

Do it.

It really doesn't matter who wins the local elections.

It really doesnt.

Give us sunshine.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Recession depression makes me smile..

I havent heard anyone talking about the value of their house this year. Or indeed what one (slightly bigger, and with a conservatory) 'went for' just around the corner. Not that they'd dream of selling of course, the neighbours are all fabulous....

And nobody has asked me for ages when I am going to get a real job, because it is suddenly acceptable to just have a job, and not some far reaching world-dominating aspirations, that we all seemed to have before.
This recession is great fun.
Fuck it, kick back with a can of cheap lager and enjoy the ride.

And to Anne-Marie H in the Irish times bitching about the price of drink, have you been to the cinema in Dublin recently? Or to dinner in any of its restaurants? or fucking bowling? Show me anything that isnt over-priced in Dublin. Maybe you could start a blog or regular column in the IT dedicated to forms of entertainment that cost too much in Dublin. You'd never run out of material. Next week, Anne Marie discovers Irish Concert prices are a fucking rip-off! And you can still get tickets for the third U2 concert a week after launch, who said a recession couldnt make you smile.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Have I asked you this before?

Have you ever had a case of delayed dejavu? It occurs usually the day after an event, or maybe after several hours. You think back and feel like it had happened to you before. Or if you met a person for the first time, and you think later on that you had met that person before. Normally dejavu is associated with instantaneousness. It occurs right as the incident is happening. Its inexplicable often, and usually hard to pin down exactly how you feel its happened before. Its often hard to pin down what aspect of the event feels as though has happened before. Its just a flash in your brain. But the experience I am trying to pin down is a delyed version of this. I think it could be a new type of madness. Maybe someone will write a book about me and even call the syndrome after me. I'm not sure but I keep meeting new people and the next day I am sure I have met them before. Now we dont need any smart Alec's pointing out that when I am thinking on a Monday about someone I met on the sunday before, that I had met them before that i had indeed met them before. The previous day. It was Sunday. Thats not what I mean and you know it. I mean I feel like I met them somewhere before Sunday. And no I dont mean maybe it was Saturday sure you were at Mass on Sunday and then you went to your parents for tea and went home to bed and didnt meet anybody, it must have been Saturday. (or as Matt Cooper would say sah-er-day) I dont think I'm explaining this very well, and its nearly time for my pills, so i'll leave it to you. Maybe you can explain it to me, I await links...


If you are a mental health professional and recognize actual symptons of a real mental problem here, please keep it to yourself.

Friday, February 20, 2009

May I be the first to say..

With all the Doom and Gloom that is going on, and the fear that is being struck in our hearts about how we are all to loose our jobs, and become destitute, and all the revelations about what a crowd of shysters are in charge of this country and the total lack of regard they have for us , may I be the first to say, that at least..

There is a great stretch in the evenings!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm going to hell, of that there is no doubt..

When I finally get there, it will be a large shopping center with myriad escalators and levels,
and all the shops I will need will be on the other level, and there will be those map things, which I will only ever be able to spot when they are on a different level. And I'll spend eternity going up and down escalators, trying to either get to a shop I want, or trying to get to one of those map thingies which will invariably send me in the wrong direction, when I mis-interpret the "You are Here" as "where the man near you who is facing in the opposite direction" is.. There will probably be kids in tow as well, I mean we are talking Hell here, so I suppose 2 or 3 little brats nipping at your heels like 2 little jack russells pleading to be carried and fed, and everybody suffering from chronic tiredness, and all you want to do is get out to the car and drive, but then you'll forget where you parked and when you finally do get back to the car you get lost in a maze of roundabouts, and you begin to wish you had lived a better life and you could be drinking tea in heaven now with the good people like Dana and Daniel.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Meeting

RMN What the Hell is going on over there? Where did they all go?

TM Its gone very quiet sir, especially since the old Sea-Dog disappeared from the radar. no pun intended sir.

RMN and that God-Damned dope-Fiend Monkey?

TM He's been -ahem, gone for a while now sir.
Yes sir, he's been taken care of..

RMN Well explain to me then what in the name of all that is mighty is going on over there?

TM Well it seems that some of them have been returning to their blogs sir,
` sir, some of them have been linking directly..

RMN What the hell kind of outfit are you runnning over there? Have some SS guys go over and burn these god-damned
Blogs to the Ground! And if they start up again, Drag them from their beds into the streets in front of their
homes, strip them naked and beat them like dogs until they comply!

Now, is there anything esle i should know?

TM Well, its Crea sir, intel indicates he's been reading Thompson again. He's been seen pacing the sidewalk
outside his home at 4am jabbering into a cell-phone about the need for editing and something about

RMN Have you-know-who take care of him.

TM Sir, your not recording this conversation are you?
How would the transcripts look?

RMN Exactly like this Pig-Fucker!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Gangs of New York

I just re-watched this and have to say it is great.
I remember not liking it at the time, but its worth a re-view,
Day Lewis is at his best, and there are some great gory battle scenes,
and of course we Irish love being mentioned in any Film..
See can you spot Marty Scorcese's Cameo..

Monday, January 12, 2009

where have I been?

Isnt it funny how all the lazy, half arsed bloggers who sniffed around the blog, all stopped blogging at around the same time. Namely when the forum started up, and suddenly 3 lines was a long offering and their own blogs just became too much work, and hardly anybody read them anyway, and now by using The Majors name on his forum they could post and get lots of comments..

or was it just me..